Look for the Helpers....

How often are we caught in the political maelstrom that has us believing that we are so divided in thought and belief that the country is not the place of dreams fulfilled? In an instant, we are reminded. Reminded of how blessed we are as Americans. In many places around the world, a bombing with three left dead and many wounded is just an evening news report. For us, it is a devastating event. One we can't understand and never expect. In that aspect, we are blessed.

I heard the report of the bombing at the Boston Marathon on the radio while driving home from work. Unbelievable.  Bennett and I spent a day in Boston during our trip out East last summer and fell in love with the city. While Bennett is a swimmer, running is part of his cross training. We stood on the circle that marks the Boston Marathon, with the winners names engraved around, in awe of the place and time. In Copley Square. While Bennett read names and countries of winners I was mesmerized by the Boston Public Library. What greets the visitor is the inscription "Free for All". As an educator this speaks to the core of who I am. What makes a great country, in my opinion, is the belief that all citizens deserve the chance to become what they desire and have the ability to achieve. Boston, as a founding city, made this commitment in community spaces and their libraries. It says a lot about the people.

The first images I saw on TV reminded me so much of 9/11, from the aspect of the actions of first responders. Is it an innate drive that leads a person to run toward harms away instead away from harm? Is training that good? A man goes down. Three responders surround him. Smoke blocking views from the street while fire and police personnel run TO the danger. Humbled. I could do this for those I love. These people do it because we ask them. 

How do we process tragedy? What do we tell our children? Fred Rogers, in The Mister Rogers Parenting Book, discusses this and gives the following advice:

      

So tonight, I remember with gratitude a city that builds community with public spaces and access to 

information for all. And for first responders everywhere. The police, fire, soldiers and guardsmen who run to harms way on the chance that they may save one of us. May we always find people who are helping. And recognize that as the reflection of humanity in place of those few who do harm.

Breathing Through

Today I'm grateful that I have started to develop a meditation practice. While it doesn't always mean I'm up 20 minutes early completing a guided meditation, it has helped me start my day with thoughtful intention. This is a stressful time with work deadlines and family schedules, so I'm grateful      
that the times I do react to the stress I'm able to pull it together sooner rather than later and have a great kid that communicates with me through the hard stuff.

As I lay on my bed composing my gratitude thoughts before going to sleep, I'm grateful that I allowed my son to follow his heart and bring home the crazy shelter rescue dog. Her sweetness is often the calm in the middle of a stormy day.

Just Grateful

Somewhere along the line I lost sight of the original intention of this blog, which is to journal my gratitude. Too often I'm finding myself contemplating the meditations, maybe over a couple of days, or too busy to carefully reflect and construct, so I don't post my thoughts. It occurred to me this morning, with prompting from Deepak's meditation, to complete a daily gratitude journal. So on those days that time or effort does not allow a thoughtful journal, I'm going to remember to post my gratitude for the day. 

Yesterday I came home from a whirlwind trip with my son and some of his friends. The college visits have begun! Where did the time to? My cherub cheeked smiling bundle of joy has become a tall, lanky young man planning his future. I am grateful that he has cultivated friendships with people that will support him, his goals and his beliefs. 

When we walked in the door I was surprised by a sparkling clean house! My wonderful husband knew that much of my stress was coming from lack of time to tackle the dust bunnies and major cleaning. Pick up and laundry we handle fine; deep cleaning tends to get put on the back burner. Floors were even scrubbed and sealed! I'm grateful not just for the clean house, but that my husband recognized the source of my stress and created a solution. 

In This Stillness

Today's meditation covered the importance of committing to writing intentions. Lucky I have a blog for that! The suggestion was to review the list before meditation with intention, which will then release the intentions. Lists I can do. Intention I have. The stillness of meditation I still need. 

I am not a still person. While I think that I have grown in my ability to reflect before speaking and acting, to respond to situations with more calm and control than I would have thought possible, apparently that is not what I present to the world. A friend and I were shopping and I was looking at paint colors for the living room. I want blue. A nice full bodies blue. Not white tinted blue. We were discussing the color, her taking my husband's position that blue is too cold to be in a living room. I find blue peaceful and calming. Her response was that I'm never calm! Huh. I feel calm most of the time. So what is the disconnect between my intention and my projection.

Stillness. How to be still. I came close a decade ago. My yoga practice had evolved to something beyond asanas and was meditative before I even really understood meditation. Until grief. I lost my beloved grandmother suddenly. There were other life crisis at the time but this was the impetus. For when I am still, there is no place for the depth of emotions to hide. Overwhelming. I move quickly because I like to move. I talk quickly because I am passionate about the things that I do. I work continuously because there is always something to do. It's why committing to this meditation is my Lenten practice. My sacrifice to make the connection with spirit.

So what am I afraid that I will find in that stillness? I'm about to find out. There is one week left in the meditation challenge. My intention is to use that time to practice stillness. As I practice, my intention is to project the strength and calm that I truly feel inside to those with whom I am present. My intention is to celebrate my strength while honoring that inside that needs stillness to connect. With these intentions my family, home and work will benefit from the best of me that is released. Apparently it's going to be the hard stuff this next week.

Today I am grateful for my dog. She asks so little of me, yet is always a calm, loving presence. Which doesn't mean that she doesn't get excited and crazy. I guess I really do just need to be more like my dog! 

Are you avoiding the stillness? The place that allows nothing to be hidden? Have you figured out why? What will you do this week to embrace the stillness?

A lesson from Phoebe

Today I celebrate the 3rd anniversary of the birth of my beautiful niece Phoebe Johnanna Bush. She was only with us on this earth for one short month, but her amazing life taught me more lessons than any other. The most important lesson was the need to be fully present with those that I love. Phoebe had the love, attention and devotion of her family for every one of her 30 days. Such a blessed existence in the midst of painful circumstances. Her struggle led to better treatment for her brother Ronan just one year later. And although Ronan also was not with us for long, the lessons learned from these beautiful babies that I was blessed to have time with would, just one year later, lead to the first successful lung transplant of an ACD baby. My sister Kim and brother Chris have inspired me not just during their journeys when the children were with us on earth, but as they continue to live their lives, daily struggling with an unforeseen reality and grief. I am humbled.

Reflecting Balance

So I've been cruising through this meditation challenge, reaffirming lessons that I've learned in my spiritual journey. To be sure, I needed reminders and a refocusing on these lessons, but I've felt comfortable with the review. I should have known it was too good to be true. Bam! Out of the blue. The lesson I still haven't learned. Today Deepak discussed how our environment is a reflection of our inner balance. Well that was not a comforting thought as I got out of bed in my dust bunny infested, half decorated, needs to be cleaned house! Apparently it's time to pull up my big girl panties and really tackle this issue.

It was the same stopping point for me when working thought The Simple Abundance Journal. As soon as I was supposed to think about decorating, and colors and spending money I started getting itchy. I found my balance, for today, by listening to my own advice that I give to my adult students. It isn't going to happen all at once! It's ok to move forward in implementation in steps. So I stuck out my right foot and began. I am pleased to say I had already contemplated some simple spring cleaning type things that needed to be done. The bathroom curtains I don't like are not going to have the cobwebs washed off of them, they're coming down, the shower curtain rod that had gotten rusty was replaced as was the ironing board cover that was covered in sticky quilt batting (don't ask. Just because I like to quilt doesn't mean I'm good at it). With my attitude aligned to focus on the positive I decided to create one small space that reflected how I feel instead of the chaos I often present. Over the weekend, anticipating the many parent meetings I will be holding in my office, I bought a small pot of daffodils to place on my conference table. I dug out a pretty little planter that want being used, plopped my new plant inside and took them with me to work. Wile my to-do list was long (and not accomplished) it was well worth the five minutes it took to clear my conference table and nearby countertop and place the pot of flowers in the middle of the table. It's not my environment, but it's a small start. Maybe this weekend  I will get to those dust bunny curtains!

5 Minutes makes a difference!

My last thoughts are maybe once again I'm focusing on the wrong thing. Maybe what my slightly disorganized, dust bunny filled, in need of decorating environment reflects is that my priorities are right. I choose to spend the time with my son, preparing for my students and enjoying my two hour walks with my dog on the weekend. The more balanced I become the less thought there will be about what my environment is reflecting.

Messy side of the office!

What is one aspect of your environment that reflects balance. What is one, small, five-minute change you can make today to bring harmony and balance to your environment?

Evaluating Habits

Today the meditation focused on restoring or creating healthy balance in your life so I've focused my thoughts on mh habits, examining the how and why they were created. Diet and exercise I've already blogged about as a natural remedy for health issues that I have dealt with for a decade now. But I wanted to dig deeper. The problem is, when I start to think about habits, I tend to go to those things that I probably need to tweak. "Bad" habits.  But as I like my blogposts on the short and sweet side, and I want to honor the positive, affirming conversations that I have been having with my body, I decided to think of a couple of good habits and let those be a guide for how to develop more rather than rehash what I am not doing well.

The best habit that I have is my routine. As Bennett has grown into his teen years my schedule has become more flexible. Starting with his freshman year, I have been the swim carpool mom for morning practice. Actually, that started with summer swim in middle school but at least in summer I don't have to teach all day after carpool! He needed to be at the pool an hour before I normally left for work. What to do? Well, sleeping through the morning routine wasn't an option. So I decided to start my day early after dropping a car full of boys at the school. A half hour drive had me arriving before 6 a.m. Those first couple of mornings were grueling! But I quickly realized something. This was actually closer to my natural body clock. I am a morning person. A HAPPY morning person. The kind of person whose college roommates wouldn't let speak until after they returned from their 9a.m. classes. The kind of morning person who has a boss threaten to fire them if coffee ever becomes a part of the routine (yup, that morning happiness is not caffeine injected, it's all me!). So I began my day as one of the first in the building. And quickly realized I was more productive form 6-7:30 a.m. than I was for the rest of the day. I think more clearly, I have less distractions.

 As morning practices came to an end, I took a day or two to return to my former routine. I worked more in the evening, my desk was never cleared. I decided to compromise. There was no reason to be the first person arriving at building. Frankly, that's not a safe choice. But I could be one of the first. This third year I've realized that this schedule has become routine. If I'm not an hour early for work I feel like I'm late. More importantly, I've stopped apologizing for the fact that I'm useless after 9:30 p.m. Because you should see what I accomplish before 9 a.m.!

What is your habit that has developed to further your quest for a more simple, balanced, reflective life?

My Magnificent Vehicle

What a great way to regard my body, as a magnificent vehicle for this journey. It is so much easier to create a good body image when love, acceptance and purpose guide the conversation. How do we harness this thought for our children and teens? Giving them the gift of loving their bodies for how it functions and what it allows them to do rather than in judgement compared to a standard that isn't real. Emphasizing the function over appearance is a great beginning. For me, the last couple of meditations have been more affirmation of what I discussed in my last blog rather than new revelation but I have enjoyed the time to recommit to a conversation of appreciation for my body. The opportunity to practice instead of grapple with a new concept seemed to turn my early mornings into something to look forward to rather than something that I had to schedule.

I tried meditating this afternoon instead of first thing in the morning. I figured it was the weekend and I wanted to expand the way I practice. Normally I am up by 4:50 so I can meditate before I get out of bed and then I'm out the door by 6. Today I opted to combine a walk with work at my parents to start my day. After walking back and getting ready to grocery shop and run errands I knew I had to much to think about to stop and meditate. So I postponed the meditation until late afternoon, with mixed results. I am happy to say that even though I had to prepare for 2 hours of online meetings this evening I was able to put that aside and honor the time I had given myself for meditation. Unfortunately I have a very small house. So the dogs running the hall, people talking in the other room and the neighbor coughing on his back porch all proved to be significant distractions. Early morning, when I am the only one up, will continue to be my time for meditation.

On my walk, I was aware of the awakening of spring. It is amazing that even as the temperatures remain in the 20s, with wind chill in the single digits, nature pushes forward. Today my sign of spring was the red-winged blackbirds. They have been around for a couple of weeks, but today they were exhibiting their possessive stance toward territory. I witnessed something I had never seen before. Two male red-winged blackbirds were engaged in combat while in the air. At one point, they locked, I assume by the beaks. As they were locked together they began to spiral downward toward the ground, looking very much like maple seed "helicopters" dropping from the sky. I stood, transfixed, waiting for one to let go. They didn't. And landed flat on the paved road with a smack. Then, they hopped up and flew in different directions.

As I meditated on my body as a vehicle for this journey I kept thinking about the birds. The wonder that is bird anatomy, with its hollow bones and protective air shafts in feathers. If the Divine has considered such a small creature and the design that is required to be the vehicle of the journey, why do I doubt that which was planned, formed and created for me? For not one second did either bird lose focus on the fight. Why do I not trust my body like the birds? Possibly because  that bird doesn't have mirrors! But I smiled as a I finished my walk. And connected with the Ralph Waldo Emerson quote in today's journal "The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common".

What common miracle connected with you today?

A Conversation

The good news is that I'm keeping up with the meditation challenge better then my Lenten commitment to blog! The last two days focused on the role of our body in health. We must begin with recognizing the Intuition of our body, or how it speaks to us. Women are often credited with the ability to tune in, or be intuitive, in our every day lives. But the examples that are often used are a recognition of intention or circumstance that occurs outside of our body, and sometimes not even to us. Thoughtful focus can help us make a connection with our own body. Once we recognize that our body speaks to us, we can go a step further, speaking to our bodies and engaging in a conversation that is healing, centered and unites the parts of ourselves that create our well-being. So apparently the  saying about you can talk to yourself, as long as you don't answer, is not necessarily true!

The lessons weren't new to me. I have for years controlled a formerly debilitating, painful condition through diet and exercise. When symptoms flare and pain returns, it is my body speaking. By now I have figured out what it is saying. Move more, eat less, cut the stressors. When I first began making the mind/body connection I had just read the book Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and begun practicing yoga. Through the book I made the connection between the area in my body that was not functioning properly with the nature of the issues or stressors that I was ignoring. These connections happen to be related to Chakras, so my yoga practice provided a natural first "treatment" of sorts. During this process I became aware of the next step in my path to wellness. After learning to listen to my body, I realized that I could, in turn speak. I had been so focused on how my body wasn't functioning properly that I missed all of the amazing this my body was still doing. As I became more flexible and meditative in my yoga practice I shifted from sadness and frustration in the pain to gratitude for a body that, while unwell, could balance a beautiful tree pose or proud pigeon. I thanked my body every day for what it did well and treated it as the vital life-sustaining force that it is.

One would think that achieving a return to well-being, especially in regards to pain, that the formula

of exercise, eating and mindfulness would become a way of life. And it is. Until "life" gets in the way. While I experienced years of being symptom free, the last couple of years I have experienced recurrences of symptoms. I now live with a shared experience of grief that has profoundly changed me. Grief can take hold, overwhelm, and demand immediate attention that disregards fundamental practices of wellness. Symptoms return.                                

For a while, I was disappointed. I had an almost smug attitude of "I did it" when it came to my disorder when I exhibited no symptoms. My Evangelical experience demands healing. If I live right; do the right thing it follows that I can demand healing. But I'm not healed. At least not yet. So the meditation of the last two days reminds that when my body speaks, I must listen. And as it is speaking to me, I must speak back with gratitude, encouragement and belief in its ability to be the functioning complex conglomeration of systems that it is. When will I achieve the state of health that is truly more than just a management of symptoms? Probably when I deal with the issues at  its root; when I honor this body with the exercise and nourishment it deserves and speak gratitude and wellness to it for what it does, not what it should do. For now, my focus will have to be becoming still enough and quiet enough that when my body does speak, it will no longer have to shout to get my attention!

View from the mountain top! Hiking in Yellowstone.

For our conversation today, how have you learned to listen to your body? What is the message that you send your body every day? Should our message change?

A Field of Possibilities

So excited to begin the Journey to Perfect Health 21 day meditation challenge with Deepak Choora this morning. My joy comes not only from continuing to develop my meditative practice, but because the challenge is connecting friends across geographical distances, creating the opportunity for a shared spiritual growth experience. My health is really what propelled my seeking an alternative spiritual practice years ago, so the focus of this challenge feels right. Yoga, healthy eating and exercise were my starting points, but the business of life has stalled exploration of additional practices. I'm thankful today that technology serves so many purposes, providing opportunities such as this challenge and a way to connect with my friends.

Although I must say that the first work day after "springing forward" with our time setting may not have been the best choice. I actually assumed that the e-mail link wouldn't come before 5 a.m. And I would be able to put it off until tomorrow. But there it sat, when I checked at 4:50, just waiting for me to click and begin. I took it as a sign and soldiered on.

I like to begin by examining the mantra to be used during meditation. I have not reached the point where my mind stays focused for long, so I find myself often returning to the mantra as a center. The interpretation of today's mantra, "I am absolute existence. I am a field of possibilities.", felt like an encouraging saying to say to oneself in the mirror at the beginning of the day! What a way to start the day. As I carried the thought with me throughout my day, I kept returning to "I am a field of possibilities".  As a teacher and a parent, I often look at my students and my son as the possibilities that they represent. It drives me every day to provide challenging opportunities for them to grow. To develop the skills they will need to be their future possible selves. But the phrase is "I am", not "I was". How different would we approach our adulthood if we remain confident in the belief that possibilities are part of our future not just our past. What changes could we affect; what accomplishments could be made, both for continued personal growth and as contributions to mankind.

The field that I picture is a rare Lake Plains prairie, found in very few places in the world. There is one in my area and my son and I have volunteered to collect seeds to cultivate the native species. In that field contains the possibility of protecting an ecosystem from extinction. We spent hours learning to identify and collecting those precious seeds. That is the image that I am focusing on in my healthy life of possibilities. Focusing on the fact that if still have breathe, there are possibilities!

How do you picture your field of possibilities?

Being Human

Over the last couple of days I've been thinking about the fallibility of man. Headline news has been reporting a Canadian study that declares Mother Theresa should not be the destined-for-sainthood iconic figure. The criticism of excess charity money and how care is managed seems to me a perspective challenge more than misuse. Certainly no one is accusing Mother Theresa of gathering funds for personal gain, but more of an effort to promote well doing in the Catholic faith at a time when there has been much to criticize in terms of personal conduct and accountability. Faith is too often political within established institutions.  This criticism isn't only for the Catholic church, but for spiritual leaders and institutions of faith. for instance, the televangelist world was rocked during the 1980s with the fall from grace of the Bakers and Jimmy Swaggert, not only for financial mismanagement but infidelity issues. In comparison, a faith that honors suffering and acknowledges the inevitability of death as Mother Theresa believed does not seem to fit in the same category.

Athletes, politicians, musicians; any person who has a talent or gift that is revered too often becomes a hero. Charles Barclay's famous uttering that he is NOT a role-model created all kinds of controversy, but should it have? How to we teach our children, and by doing so build a generation, that great deeds and amazing feats are worthy of our admiration, but that behind those accomplishments is just an ordinary person. We get a little touchy about our heroes in the U.S. our founding fathers, legendary Preisdents and statesman all have conducted themselves, at some time, in a manner that isn't honorable. It has to be ok to separate the two. Too often such discussion simply labels you "un-American".

I had the opportunity to listen to the author Tonya Bolden at a conference as she discussed how heroes are often portrayed in the black community as one dimensional based upon their greatest work
or achievement. Her books differ in that they address the struggles that make the hero, be it Dr.

Martin Luther King Jr or George Washington Carver, real people with insecurities and flaws. Her
reasoning was how can a troubled youth or a child in a difficult environment connect to a hero that is more Superman than real person?

It seems to come down to what we honor. What are the attributes that we admire most in our fellow humans?  Personally, the things that I don't do well cause more reflection, and by virtue of reflection more cause for growth, than the things that I do well. Maybe that's why we want to look only at what our "heroes" do well. We want our Superman. Our spiritual guide. And by putting them on said pedestal we remove our responsibility to learn, connect, and grow by examining their lives as more than just one dimensional.

In celebration on Women's History Month, and yesterday being International Women's Day, how about we share a woman we admire and why?

I admire Maya Angelou for honesty in reflection. She makes no apology for her life choices, but examines circumstances with honesty and as a learning experience. "When you know better, you do better" is my favorite quote. 

Like any other day....

I have made it a practice to reflect upon gratitude and simplicity throughout the day in celebration of Lent so that my evening blog posts are a reflection of the experience. Today I couldn't get past the fact that it was just an ordinary day. I began my day by administrating a high stakes standardized test, spent my lunch problem solving with a community service agency advocating for a student...really just an ordinary day in the life of a teacher. Admittedly, much of my day was spent considering the anti-test movement and disruptive education reform, but I have a professional blog for that!

So how do you find gratitude in an ordinary day? By simply being grateful. That my ordinary day includes a job that I love, a son that makes my heart smile, dedicated colleagues, family I love and friends on whom I depend. Really, not quite so ordinary. The definition of Simple Abundance! Everything that I need when I'm focused on what truly matters.

Tonight, I'm feeling blessed by the ordinariness of my life!

A moment of beauty-St. Louis Children's Hospital 

Staying Connected

One of the principles that I have come to understand on this journey to a more simple place of abundance, is that we reflect that to which we are connected. While studying the Simple Abundance journal there were several times when I had difficulty with exercises that required me to shop, plan or complete activities about "things". It didn't take me long to realize hat some of the discomfort came from my own issues regarding money, or lack of, and recognizing that I had issues about whether I "deserved" nice things. Now I know that I deserve to have nice things, but actually spending the money on things for myself is another story. The fact that I am an educator in the current economy and with the reconstructive mindset of the legislature does little to support my efforts to be a little less frugal with myself! In fact, the few times that I have had "things" that were meaningful it seems they ended up broken! So is my attachment because I spend so little energy investing in things or do I not expend more effort collecting things because somewhere I know that I will easily become distracted from what is truly worth while?  I suspect these are thoughts I will continue to pursue for quite some time.

What about, instead of things, we pursue our connections to people and places and causes we hold dear? Personal connections provide balance, accountability and strength. The important thing about connections is that they don't always have to be a best friend, or sister, with whom our deepest secrets and fears are shared. It can be a fellow sport parent or colleague; someone with whom we can relate in our life circumstance. Personal connections, not to objects but life forces, are a reflection of our life and its balance. Sometimes we crave the intimacy of close friends, while other times the light-hearted, less emotional experience of acquaintances. That is not to say that the deep connections with our fellow man are not important. I was reminded of this as I "hung out" with my sister on a Google hangout. Or when the calendar reminded me that a group of my school age friends and I would begin our second shared meditation challenge next week. While geographically distant, technology and heart strings keep us connected. Often, these distance challenged relationship can actually be easier to maintain in this digital world. The pressure of interaction in a busy schedule can result in friendships fading as time becomes a barrier to maintenance. But geographic challenges to friendships can easily be distanced when a note, message, e-mail or other electronic connection can take place as time allows. The old adage of two ships passing in the night no longer means there is no connection. With the right technology, the ships don't actually have to pass, they probably just need a Twitter account!

During Lent is a great time to reflect upon the connections that we have maintained with people that we love. How do we make those connections a priority with the chaotic schedules that are now an American norm? To me, technology seems to be the answer. And a commitment that whatever the tool, I will prioritize my connections to those I love instead of the things I think I love.

My heart

Firecracker

red head girly

Books are the best

Annie home :)

Soul connections

A day working at Feed the Children

Modeling our Amy jewelry

Running for a Cause

How do you stay connected? Do you use social media? What connections do you need to strengthen?

The Joy of Reading

Happy birthday Dr. Seuss! I did have an omelette with green peppers, ham and cheese, so I think that qualifies as green eggs and ham. Internationally, this day is devoted to the celebration of reading in honor of Dr. Seuss' success with his early readers. There are many quotable sayings from the books and the man, enough that one could probably blog just exploring Seuss quotes. In celebration reading,  I like the following quote from I Can Read With My Eyes Shut : "The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll" .

Reading was my first simple pleasure. The great equalizer in education and experience, I read early and once started moved forward with veracity. Libraries, whether in school or the community always felt like home. How lucky am I that I now spend my day in a library with students!

Reading can be so many things. An escape, a means of travel, the only way to satisfy the hunger and thirst for knowledge. As I've spent the last couple of years trying to live my life more simply, I no longer apologize for my need and desire to read. It can still can be a way to escape, or connect or just provide me with the opportunity to stop and be still in my busy life.

Today I'm grateful that my son has had a love of reading from an early age. Many times when it seems we have very few ways to connect, books still provide thoughtful conversation starters. How lucky am I to share something that brings me so much joy with my son.

Today I am grateful that I always had access to books, for a son who shares my love of reading and for a sister and group of friends who enjoy connecting through books as much as I do!

What book have you read, or are reading that you would recommend?

Defining Gratitude

It may be the teacher in me, and a reflection of the creative process involved in transformative education, but today I have been thinking about the definition of gratitude. If embarking on a journey to simplify life through expressions and reflection on gratitude, it seems important to provide a context. Much of my blogging has been focused on identifying ways to live more simply. To me it seems as if a greater connection to gratitude will make living simply, well, simpler.

Psychology Today explains gratitude as the thing that allows us to see a glass as half full; Wikipedia covers psychological benefits as well as personal motivation and links to the philosophers and religion; while Merriam-Webster simplifies it to a state of thankfulness. Most important in these definitions and discussions, I think, is that gratitude is not about THINGS. Although we can be grateful for a reliable vehicle to drive to work, or a home that is comfortable and inviting, it's more about a state of being.  Can we be grateful in the midst of stress, anxiety, grief? I believe we can for I have witnessed such gratitude. At those times I believe gratitude is a reflection of character; a revelation of our true self when there is nothing behind which to hide. The only thing that is left is the choice to see a glass as half-full or half-empty.

So when I list what I am grateful for each day, especially during Lent, I will begin by connecting with how I define gratitude before I give examples. What resonated with me most is that as a state of being, gratitude is certainly something that we can choose. And in a time when it seems as if there are very few elements in life that we can control, it is inspiring to realize how the expression of gratitude
can inform both our intention and our reality.


Today my gratitude reflection was inspired by a Facebook post from Oprah Winfrey. "I delight in simple pleasures in beautiful settings". While I am always grateful for the time I have spent traveling our beautiful country, sometimes we overlook the beauty in nature that is close to home. It's why I find walking and hiking to be so soul refreshing. The opportunity to find the pleasure of a beautiful scene from nature.

To that end I am grateful for the ride to work. I drive by an International waterway, through back roads with beautiful trees and farmland. I'm reminded everyday as I slow for turns on country roads,
or watch a red-tail hawk vigilant in a tree, that I an part of a beautiful, grand plan.

How do you define gratitude? How does gratitude simplify your life?

Inner Peace

Imagelink

I saw this posted by a friend on Facebook today and knew that what I had been thinking about for the blog was suddenly not quite right. Most people will laugh, or at least smile, when viewing this image because of how personally relate able is the subject matter. Yes, we want peace. But it shouldn't interfere with our schedule. I'm reminded of Deepak Chopra sharing with Oprah his constant state of meditation. In all things, he does not lose his meditative practice and focus. Meanwhile, for many of us Inner Peace is an illusion practice. If the "right" formula for inner peace is not shared, and not something that can be accomplished in a short time. Can we truly achieve inner peace if our schedules are so harried that we place this as an achievement or life goal instead of an act . 

Grateful today for my Inner Peace that comes as a result of mindful practice. Even if some days the only reason I see Inner Peace is because I recognize the progress 

Is It Broke or Does It Hurt?

I haven't blogged the last two days, but that doesn't mean I wasn't mulling over gratitude! Work responsibilities and mom duty had me busy but still thinking. Today's thought comes from my son's swim coach. Ken has been a guiding force in Bennett's life for five years and my gratitude for his time, attention and connection not just to swim but to my son as a person is difficult to express. Ken is known for his great words of wisdom that he shares with his swimmers. Today's them comes from an article about one of our club swimmers, who despite serious health issues inspires her team, family and coaches every day. Ken's question to her is "Is it broke or does it hurt"? You see, McKenna has brittle bone disease. And yes, sometimes when she swims she breaks a bone. So Ken needs to know how far to push, when to take a break. Is it broke or does it hurt.

I kept thinking about that phrase over the last two days. Coaching quips are often deeper than they first appear. The first thing that came to me is that we have to truly be in tune with ourselves in order to assess is something is broke or if it just hurts. In how many situations do we need to consider whether the appropriate course is to power through the hurt or if a new strategy is necessary. At what point is something broke? I think that this applies most to relationships. I can't think of any relationship that is meaningful that does not in some way, at some time, involve hurt. When you let people close, they have power. It may not be that they have used this power to do something that hurts us intentionally. Sometimes the connection itself is enough that hurt is shared. When someone you love hurts, it is difficult to not share the hurt.

What about when it's broke. You can't, or shouldn't, tough it out with a break. A break requires a new strategy; an intermission or intervention. Sometimes a break requires moving on. But there are other options. Read McKenna's story that I linked above. Breaks can be repaired. They can be casted (with waterproof casts to allow for swim), set, immobilized, taped. They can heal. What you do while the healing goes on, I believe, is how you demonstrate your character. Breaks hurt. Do they stop you? Change who you are? If you are changed, and many times we will be, is it a change for the better?

I learned a lot from McKenna's story. Mostly about accepting that life is going to hurt. And still smiling. And trying. And swimming. Even when it's broke.

Image link

Today I am grateful for:

1. Trails through woods close enough to provide my nature fix on a regular basis.

2. Stories of special children and their families who are willing to share them.

3. A coach that inspires and knows that whether something is broke or it just hurts, quitting is not an option.

Music in the soul

As I sit in my room, reflecting upon my day, I smile listening to my son sing in the shower. It seems as if he came into this world with a song in his heart that he had to share. Sixteen years later I'm glad he is still connected to the joy he finds in music. It seems like such a simple thing; a child singing. Why, then, does such a simple thing make adults pause and smile, experiencing a second hand joy from the sound.

What is it about a child singing? Not performing, necessarily, just singing from the heart. No regard for an audience. The last two mornings I have enjoyed Facebook postings of a friend whose 3-year-old daughter is nightly entertaining. Mostly, I suspect, for relatives geographically distant. Yet a heart felt rendition of "skinermarink" and "so happy in my heart" at the start of my day is a joyful reminder of all that is good and sweet and pure in this world.

At four Bennett told me "I just have to sing. It's like the music is in my soul". I love that he still knows that soul part of himself. As adults it seems as if we are often looking for that soul connection; with another person, in our spiritual walk, or even reconnecting with our true selves. When did we lose it? How did we become so disconnected from the essence of ourselves. Because really, it can be as simple as a song. So today I am inspired to look for that in my soul that just is and always was. Not over complicated or deep in meaning. Just as simple as a song, sung from the heart of a child.

Tonight I am grateful for the joy found in everyday life through the heart and experience of children (be they big or small). What joy are you finding today?

Why We Give Up Things

As long as I can remember, the practice up giving up a "thing" during the Lenten season has been a spiritual practice. As a children, when my family practiced the Catholic faith, it was part of the ritual of the season. As I've grown older, and my spiritual path has meandered through several mountains and valleys, I often continued the practice. While I haven't given up anything for Lent during the last couple of years, my sister has remained faithful to this practice. I'm annoyed with her choice this year (leaving me on Pinterest? Seriously!) but it has forced me to reflect more fully on the reason why people participate.

The practice of sacrifice of pleasurable things to focus on the spiritual is not new, nor is it limited to the Christian faith. In fact, as I have spent time learning a little about other cultures and belief systems, this is a practice I find to be common in most. The idea is that when you miss the "thing" that you gave up it is a reminder to focus on spiritual renewal. That is the essence of the Lenten practice that I am pursuing with my commitment to blog my gratitude daily. I have connected this way as a continuation of my belief that it is better to spend time and energy promoting what you stand for and believe in instead of fighting against something that you don't.

Forcing myself to not only acknowledge what I am grateful for each day, but to consider the lesson behind my gratitude is a spiritual exercise, moving from the selfish to the selfless, focusing my energy in a celebration of the good. Sometimes not participating in an organized spiritual experience can lead to disconnect from the greater community. Making a commitment during Lent, even if it is a commitment to a practice instead of a sacrifice, is focusing my thoughts daily on being present in order to identify all the pieces of my day for which I am grateful.

For today, I am grateful that I live in a safe place. That when I decide I want to take my dog for a walk for a couple of hours I just do. I don't worry about being out alone as a woman, about fear of kidnapping or political unrest or getting caught in a crossfire. I am blessed. Blessed in my freedoms as an American women.

Did you give up something for Lent? How is it focusing your reflective spiritual practice? Has it made you grateful?

The Things That Matter

Watching my Dvrd Super Soul Sunday (from the OWN network) Nate Berkus interview today has me inspired to blog. Finally. The program was a two-part series, focusing on his design book about your home being a reflection of who you are instead of a decorator's plan. I worked really hard not to look around my house, afraid of the reflection everyone who walks in my house sees! But the book is more than your average design book (of course, or it wouldn't be a two-part interview on SSS!). Woven throughout the book are the stories of the people and experiences, what really matters, that have inspired his design. The second part of the interview was really a discussion of his experience surviving the Tsunami that took the life of his partner. I always get nervous when people talk about loss and the grief process. So many times the answers seem insensitive or create more reasons in my mind why the situation is unique. But when the teaser leading up to the interview was Nate sharing "I don't recognize the person I was before the tsunami". Ahh. That I could get. I watch those that I love, who have lost infants, struggle with this "new normal". The new part is understandable. I think it's the "normal" moniker that's worrisome. How can the feeling of grief, at times crippling, be a norm? A season of grief yes, but to think that the overwhelming feeling of grief and loss will actually become normal. In some ways this thought can perpetuate the feeling of helplessness. That the world will never be right again.

There was the uncomfortable moment (for me) when Oprah offered Nate an explanation of his loss
shortly after his return home. For any explanation I hear just does not make sense to me when it is
applied to a sweet, innocent baby. Oprah's explanation worked for Nate, and I'm ok with that.
Because the powerful truth was not in the explanation, but the take-aways that Nate shared.

1. Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace. There isn't a wrong way to grieve. I would add that this doesn't excuse mean or insensitive behavior. Grief isn't an excuse for poor behavior. But the pacing is important. How do you determine how long is enough to grieve a life that was never really lived? Is the assumed length of the life too much?
2. Honor those lost by living your life. Wow. Hard. But true. I watch my sister and friends, whom I call mommies of loss, honor the lives of their infants, DAILY, by living theirs lives. And it's hard. Everyday. But they do. By supporting one another and by creating a better experience for those in similar situations (check out The Might Oakes Foundation, the Wrapped In Love  Project and Caps For Collins Facebook pages). 

Which brings us to the Things That Matter. And for me, they aren't "things" oh I appreciate nice
things. Often wish I had some more of them. But pottery platters can break (still trying to let go of that one!), cars rust and material possessions can't give us a hug. Or hold our hand. or make me smile just by walking in a room. So changing the gratitude format slightly tonight, I'm going to identify what really matters to me.

First and foremost is my son. My world view shifted the moment he was born. Being Bennett's mom has made me a better person, teacher and spiritual being. Family in general is important, both my family of blood and my family of the heart (you know who you are!).

The second thing that matters to me is connecting with nature. From hiking, walking, bird watching and my need to be near water, I am better when I make this connection. Today was a beautiful 7 mile walk with my dog that included a path through the snowy woods. Birds chirped, the sun shone, and my spirit was renewed (I'm sure the Vitamin D fix in winter helped!).

The first step in expressing gratitude is to identify what things really matter. What matters to you?

Building a Community

Having committed to blogging every day during Lent has become an act of faithful commitment. I was worried until it hit my why. Blogs aren't just online journals. They are supposed to be interactive, living, breathing experiences. There have been times that my blog has inspired conversation and interaction. But not lately. So I need to rethink the intention. Or marketing. Or conversations with friends. I'm going to work on a community with the blog. Comments, participation and suggestions are welcome!

Today I am grateful for:
1. Conversations with  Bennett about literature. He has definitely moved beyond my understanding in math and the physical sciences, so I'm lucky that  my math and science boy is also a reader. The Three Musketeers has him engaged as we compare the movies that he loves with the original story.

2. The opportunity to work with exciting, engaging educators who are pushing boundaries and exploring new opportunities for their students. So proud to be a public school educator in this time innovation.

What are you grateful for today? Please share your comments as we inspire and support one another on this journey of living simply; present and at peace.

Cooper's hawk visited again yesterday

Wrapped In Love Project

Copy of Wrapped In Love Project

Finished the video this morning. It is a labor of love, honoring my niece Phoebe and nephew Ronan whose time with us was too short. My sister, and so many of the mothers of loss of whom I am acquainted, amaze me with their steadfast commitment to honoring their little ones by giving back, supporting one another and great causes. The Wrapped in Love Project is one of those causes.

My gratitude today for the friends, family and acquaintances who made the first blanket drop off a reality. There were many babies wrapped in love that day and many families blessed by the beauty of the   offerings and the love and support of strangers. Looking forward to our second drop at DeVos in March and, especially, our first drop at St. Louis Children's Hospital in May.

Feel free to contact me to coordinate donation drop-off or delivery.

As It Is

I know, I know. It's the 3rd day of Lent and only my second post. So today is actually a combined post. I was thinking yesterday about gratitude. That, after all, is the intention of the blog and blogging every day during Lent. So I did the thinking part! I found a quote on Pinterest from Dr. Wayne Dyer that is timely for me.

Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life AS IT IS, rather than as you think it should be.

Emphasis is mine. There are situations in my life, frankly outside my realm of control, that have me a bit pouty about not being in the place I assumed I would be, feel I should be and worked hard to achieve. In the grand scheme of things this too shall pass. Quicker than my pouting would lead one to believe, although not as soon as I would wish. Yet I still seek peace. And isn't it just the truth that it is impossible to be both pouty and at peace.  I AM in control of whether I move through the situation with grace and in a state of peace. The one aspect I can control is not the aspect I wish to control! Ah yes, more growth. It appears that I have so many areas in which to grow that I never am comfortable moving forward as something new is always revealed. So I am processing life, AS IT IS, and finding my peace.

I found myself mulling over that quote in context quite literally until I fell asleep last night. Computer next to me. And when today did not bring any outer sign of change, I continued to ponder. And then I took charge. Of my perspective. I chose not to dwell on the chaos in my house, the plans foiled again, or the feeling that I am never caught up with work, laundry, household chores. And I found my "moment of Zen". I chose to meditate in the beauty of my river, identifying bird species for my Big Year, with the short time that found for myself. It didn't mattert hat it came while waiting for my son to have a last minute chiropractic appointment. Or that I hadn't showered yet and it was the middle of the afternoon. That I didn't want to be seen in public. I dropped him off, headed to the river with my camera and bird book. And took a breathe. And a walk. And celebrated the beauty of life as it was, in that moment. Share my moment of Zen in the picture slideshow below.

Today I am grateful for:
1. Friends facebook posts that make me chuckle (not just smile-chuckle. This one is at you Pamela. Horese meat!
2. A connection with nature that costs me nothing but time and my willingness to be present.

Redheads and mallards

Redheads

Female Redhead

Red-breasted Merganser

Why I love my small town

Yesterday I was reminded why I love living in my small town. Sometimes we need something to help us remember! As I sat at Bennett's last dual swim meet of the season (undefeated!) I saw a family come in that probably had no idea how influential they were during my teen years. I moved to my small town my tenth grade year. It's a beautiful river community but more affluent than where I had lived. Rough place for a newly single mom and her three teenage kids. I believe this was the beginning of my spiritual awakening. My questioning of the evangelical belief system. The church to which we belonged had taken a hard stand that if my mother decided to file for divorce there would be no help from the church. Abuse, you see, is not specifically addressed in the scripture. Infidelity, yes. Abuse, change your behavior to change the outcome.

And yet, in our new small town, there was a group of men, Catholic by faith, who could care less what the dogmatic interpretation of scripture by any church preached. They saw an uneducated, jobless mother of teens trying her best to make life different for her children. They rented us an apartment. Brought us food. Bought us shoes (our only new items we received for school that year). They treated us with dignity, love and respect. Never asked us to attend church's, or youth group, or monitored our life choices. They saw. Need, they were able to meet the need, and they did. So Christ like.

So while I still have a friend who teases(?) me that I'm not really from ........, I smiled when I saw one of the men with his family. And then took the opportunity to thank him. And share with his family how much those kind gestures meant. And how I often think of their example and try to pay it forward. You never know how doing the right thing can change a life :)

Expressing gratitude today for:
1. People who care for their fellow man
2. My son's swim coaches who alternately challenge and encourage his development as not just a swimmer but also a fine  young man
3. Daily opportunities to pay forward the many examples of blessing that I have had in my life