I was dutifully attending to the journal the last couple of days (like taking your vitamins because it's good for you, not because you enjoy it), considering the issue of color. I actually went shopping and put this to use. Yes, I bought clothes! I have a very patient teenage son who spent more of an afternoon than he wanted holding clothes and shuffling through stores. I did get him a dog, so he was very forgiving ;) Let's be clear, I still went the TJ Maxx route. Not a "maxinista" yet, but do have some classic with a twist choices that will serve me well for the rest of the school year. Color is also rolling through my mind as Bob puts the final mud coat on the new drywall in the dining room. I've complained that it wasn't ready for me to paint at the end of break, but I still don't know what color I'm going to use. Guess I should think about that (and all the hard work Bob has put into the project) before I say anything else.
And then yesterday appears, blindsiding me a bit. Affordable luxury. Doesn't seem like it should hit with a reality that has had me thinking for over 24 hours before blogging. Defining overtly the Simple Abundance path as a balance between being frugal and spending what we can't afford. "A daily meditation on the true comfort and joy of moderation, as well as gentle instruction on how to become open to receiving the goodness of Real Life". Had to read that last bit again. "how to become open to receiving the goodness of Real Life". I have not been open. Somewhere along the way I closed myself off to receiving. I love to give. Receiving is harder. It implies that I'm not able to do everything on my own. Could be those control issues that I deal with. That I thought I had made real progress toward balancing. But maybe I am and that's why I now have to continue to move forward in balance. As I was chewing on THAT, I reached the next paragraph, discussing how the Universe isn't stingy people are. Automatically I reject that because I KNOW that I'm not stingy. Yeah! And then I keep reading. About how people aren't stingy with friends, family, those in need. But stingy in how we treat ourselves. Ouch. Got me again.
This lesson is going to be ongoing for "Simple Abundance is about finally learning how to release feelings of poverty and lack and replace them with feelings of prosperity and affluence". Even when I actually lived in poverty as a teenager I don't remember feeling disconnected from the feeling of worthiness. Not sure where "I'm not worth it" has come from, but it definitely needs to go. Am making progress as I bought myself an extra shirt today! That means mix and match and choices. In fact, as we went to leave the outlet I was going to return it. I don't really "need" an extra shirt. Thankfully my husband recognizes my issues and talked me into keeping it. At least for now. I can always return it later if it doesn't work. A partner that "gets" us is also a special gift from the Universe. Today I declare myself open to receiving all the abundance that the Universe is ready to bestow. And understand that this means looking at each day as having the possibility for being a special occasion if I learn to "receive with grace and a grateful heart".
Expressing gratitude today for:
1. An in tune partner--clueing in the to the little things when I least expect it
2. The smile on my son's face every time he looks at his new dog
3. Time with my sister-gratitude and blessing her way
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Whom Do You Admire?
I'm told (by the journal!) that if I tell whom I admire you could probably tell a great deal about my hopes, dreams, and personal style. So let's try it! The theory, according to Claude M. Bristol is that "we become what we envisage". Not surprisingly the people whom I admire do not reflect my outer style but represent things that I strive for as a reflection of who I am.
1. Nelson Mandela. We all have choices in our lives. Turn the other cheek kind of moments. As a child of an abusive home I tend to get my feathers up and see backing down as a sign of weakness. Oh, but Nelson Mandela. There is a man. Not a perfect man (as his family relationships attest), but who is? I read his autobiography The Long Walk to Freedom last summer and was so inspired. For the short cut version, you can rent the movie Invictus (which does have the added bonus of Matt Damon!).
2. Maya Angelou. Many similarities to Nelson Mandela in that her life was not lived down a perfect path. There are many, especially in conservative circles, that would question her morals and faith. But she is real. To think that we almost lost this voice through her personal tragedy. What amazing wisdom the world would have missed. I have grown much over the last couple of years by embracing your philosophy of "when you know better, you do better". So much easier to forgive past wrongs and hurt when you can contemplate that thought. And, how cool do you have to be to be Oprah's mentor! Oprah would also be on my list, but I'm branching out. I'm sure Oprah will be discussed plenty throughout the course of my blogging experience!
3. Benazir Bhutto. Her book Islam, Democracy and the West could be a primer for many current crisis in the Islamic world. Yes, Islam and democracy can co-exist. But the west (especially the UK and the US!) are going to have to be comfortable with THEIR version of democracy. It always amazes me that as a young country we have made so many of these same mistakes, and would never dream of thinking it was ok for another country to "help" us get it right. Besides, I love the look on my teenagers face when I book talk this book. Short version: (hold up the book cover) Who can tell me about Benazir Bhutto? (silence) Ok, I'll give you some hints. Let's start with the title. What do you assume about her? (She knows something about Islam.....). What if I told you that she was a Muslim woman from Pakistan? What would you think the book is about? (LOTS of comments on how she can't be educated, can't leave her house, home come her face isn't covered....) What if I told you she served as Prime Minister of Pakistan more than once? (disbelief, she's a woman. how could that possibly be true?) Yes, the democratic leader of the world (U.S.) has yet to elect a female President, yet Bhutto served twice in Pakistan. A true leader, bridge builder, intelligent, compassionate woman. I believe the current Afghan/Pakistani situation would be very different if she hadn't been assassinated. Yet she was willing to serve the cause knowing full well it would probably mean her life.
4. My Husband. Yeah, I complain about him more than I should. Men and women are different! Can lead to interesting frustrations in day to day living. But by any account my husband should have given up in childhood. The things the man has experienced, endured and come through are remarkable. I know that my son is the amazing young man he is because of his example. I start everyday with a warm car and fresh brewed cup of green tea. Better than flowers any day.
5. My sister. Strong, beautiful, determined. Amazing. Ambitious, caring and kind. How she has lived this past year beyond the grief astounds me. Her willingness to continue to invest her love and energy in other people and their needs is humbling. I've learned so much. Much of my grief comes not just from the loss of Phoebe last year, but the loss of the mothering Phoebe had from Kim and Kim for Phoebe. And yet there is hope. A new life about to join us. Anticipation and anxiety are travelling the same path. I look at my son differently every day.
Ok, now it's your turn? Whom do you admire? And what does my list say about me? Time for some chatter people!
Expressing gratitude today for:
1. An inexpensive camera that still allows me to take my silly pics of birds, animals and flowers.
2. The bird sanctuary on a beautiful, spring day.
3. A pair of sandhill cranes that made me miss my husband.
1. Nelson Mandela. We all have choices in our lives. Turn the other cheek kind of moments. As a child of an abusive home I tend to get my feathers up and see backing down as a sign of weakness. Oh, but Nelson Mandela. There is a man. Not a perfect man (as his family relationships attest), but who is? I read his autobiography The Long Walk to Freedom last summer and was so inspired. For the short cut version, you can rent the movie Invictus (which does have the added bonus of Matt Damon!).
2. Maya Angelou. Many similarities to Nelson Mandela in that her life was not lived down a perfect path. There are many, especially in conservative circles, that would question her morals and faith. But she is real. To think that we almost lost this voice through her personal tragedy. What amazing wisdom the world would have missed. I have grown much over the last couple of years by embracing your philosophy of "when you know better, you do better". So much easier to forgive past wrongs and hurt when you can contemplate that thought. And, how cool do you have to be to be Oprah's mentor! Oprah would also be on my list, but I'm branching out. I'm sure Oprah will be discussed plenty throughout the course of my blogging experience!
3. Benazir Bhutto. Her book Islam, Democracy and the West could be a primer for many current crisis in the Islamic world. Yes, Islam and democracy can co-exist. But the west (especially the UK and the US!) are going to have to be comfortable with THEIR version of democracy. It always amazes me that as a young country we have made so many of these same mistakes, and would never dream of thinking it was ok for another country to "help" us get it right. Besides, I love the look on my teenagers face when I book talk this book. Short version: (hold up the book cover) Who can tell me about Benazir Bhutto? (silence) Ok, I'll give you some hints. Let's start with the title. What do you assume about her? (She knows something about Islam.....). What if I told you that she was a Muslim woman from Pakistan? What would you think the book is about? (LOTS of comments on how she can't be educated, can't leave her house, home come her face isn't covered....) What if I told you she served as Prime Minister of Pakistan more than once? (disbelief, she's a woman. how could that possibly be true?) Yes, the democratic leader of the world (U.S.) has yet to elect a female President, yet Bhutto served twice in Pakistan. A true leader, bridge builder, intelligent, compassionate woman. I believe the current Afghan/Pakistani situation would be very different if she hadn't been assassinated. Yet she was willing to serve the cause knowing full well it would probably mean her life.
4. My Husband. Yeah, I complain about him more than I should. Men and women are different! Can lead to interesting frustrations in day to day living. But by any account my husband should have given up in childhood. The things the man has experienced, endured and come through are remarkable. I know that my son is the amazing young man he is because of his example. I start everyday with a warm car and fresh brewed cup of green tea. Better than flowers any day.
5. My sister. Strong, beautiful, determined. Amazing. Ambitious, caring and kind. How she has lived this past year beyond the grief astounds me. Her willingness to continue to invest her love and energy in other people and their needs is humbling. I've learned so much. Much of my grief comes not just from the loss of Phoebe last year, but the loss of the mothering Phoebe had from Kim and Kim for Phoebe. And yet there is hope. A new life about to join us. Anticipation and anxiety are travelling the same path. I look at my son differently every day.
Ok, now it's your turn? Whom do you admire? And what does my list say about me? Time for some chatter people!
Expressing gratitude today for:
1. An inexpensive camera that still allows me to take my silly pics of birds, animals and flowers.
2. The bird sanctuary on a beautiful, spring day.
3. A pair of sandhill cranes that made me miss my husband.
Monday, April 4, 2011
April Showers.....
Ok, I'm not sure that the snow showers are going to encourage those May flowers, but we'll see! Spring break in Northern Michigan is always a gamble. We've been in shorts on the beach and had 2 feet of snow overnight. Good thing I like suprises!
For those of you who are reading the journal, remember to flip to the end of the month to see the list of simple pleasures that you should engage in during the course of the month. Some of them require some planning. For instance, had I read about collecting rainwater to wash your hair I could have put out a bucket last night!
As the readings the first two days STILL focused on clothing, I decided to to try to connect with the love of myself. Looking in the mirror, connecting with my inner goddess (inspired by my current reading of The Dance of the Dissident Daughter) I finally realized that I do have the body of a goddess. Unfortunately, it's a fertility goddess. Where did whose lumpy disproportionate hips come from? And THAT renewed my "get off your hiney and get moving" self. As a result, I took an envigorating, brisk morning walk down the two-track country roads. And promptly was reminded why I need to get in touch with my need to buy new things. My shoes gave me blisters. The same shoes that I knew needed to be replaced because they were worn out on the inside heel. I found shoes on our way up north Saturday morning. Good price. Brand that works best for my trail walking. Himmed and hawed. Talked myself out of them (this is a typical shopping experience for me). So, as much as I've dismissed the clothing and shopping entries, it's apparent that I haven't learned the lessons. Anybody know where to find Saucony's in Wellston? No? Well, I'll have to suffer until the big trip to TC on Thursday!
Yesterday we were to contemplate what we were going to be when we grew up? It's interesting to me because I still think about this! Education is being set up to not encourage longevity of service. But I can't let go yet. I have inspired ideas about how to implement the kind of reform being tossed around by politicians and business people who would not last an entire day in high school. I do a lot of thinking on my walks and yesterday was no exception. I have one sticking point in my plan, perhaps today's walk will work that out! The journal talks about being inspired by red cowboy boots. I have to say I'm not a cowboy boot kind of gal. But new red Tom's shoes? That could be part of an inspired spring!
Learning that less is more is not a difficult concept for me. I just need to learn to accept that it's ok to invest in myself. Not sure when this change happened. I was a fairly stylish young adult. But as priorities and responsibilities shifted, and it was necessary to become more frugal, I shifted my thinking accordingly. Now, I need to shift back my thinking to a more realistic view of my current circumstances instead of living in the financial fears of the past. Wish me luck!
Expressing gratitude today for:
1. Time with my sister.
2. Beginning each day of my break with a beautiful view of the lake and birds.
3. Inspiring memories through scrapbooking.
For those of you who are reading the journal, remember to flip to the end of the month to see the list of simple pleasures that you should engage in during the course of the month. Some of them require some planning. For instance, had I read about collecting rainwater to wash your hair I could have put out a bucket last night!
As the readings the first two days STILL focused on clothing, I decided to to try to connect with the love of myself. Looking in the mirror, connecting with my inner goddess (inspired by my current reading of The Dance of the Dissident Daughter) I finally realized that I do have the body of a goddess. Unfortunately, it's a fertility goddess. Where did whose lumpy disproportionate hips come from? And THAT renewed my "get off your hiney and get moving" self. As a result, I took an envigorating, brisk morning walk down the two-track country roads. And promptly was reminded why I need to get in touch with my need to buy new things. My shoes gave me blisters. The same shoes that I knew needed to be replaced because they were worn out on the inside heel. I found shoes on our way up north Saturday morning. Good price. Brand that works best for my trail walking. Himmed and hawed. Talked myself out of them (this is a typical shopping experience for me). So, as much as I've dismissed the clothing and shopping entries, it's apparent that I haven't learned the lessons. Anybody know where to find Saucony's in Wellston? No? Well, I'll have to suffer until the big trip to TC on Thursday!
Yesterday we were to contemplate what we were going to be when we grew up? It's interesting to me because I still think about this! Education is being set up to not encourage longevity of service. But I can't let go yet. I have inspired ideas about how to implement the kind of reform being tossed around by politicians and business people who would not last an entire day in high school. I do a lot of thinking on my walks and yesterday was no exception. I have one sticking point in my plan, perhaps today's walk will work that out! The journal talks about being inspired by red cowboy boots. I have to say I'm not a cowboy boot kind of gal. But new red Tom's shoes? That could be part of an inspired spring!
Learning that less is more is not a difficult concept for me. I just need to learn to accept that it's ok to invest in myself. Not sure when this change happened. I was a fairly stylish young adult. But as priorities and responsibilities shifted, and it was necessary to become more frugal, I shifted my thinking accordingly. Now, I need to shift back my thinking to a more realistic view of my current circumstances instead of living in the financial fears of the past. Wish me luck!
Expressing gratitude today for:
1. Time with my sister.
2. Beginning each day of my break with a beautiful view of the lake and birds.
3. Inspiring memories through scrapbooking.
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