Embracing Joyful Simplicities

Curators of our own contentment. Doesn't that sound awesome? There was a time I thought that meant knowing what we wanted and working to make it happen. Which I still think that we should do. But more importantly, it is starting to seek peace and comfort in the joyful simplicities. Seek out the sublime in the ordinary. I love being morning carpool mom. There is something so honest about a teenager at 5 a.m. Whether summer swim or high school, the kids bond in a way that is different than at any other time. And I am privileged to be a part. Bennett always felt left out in preschool and elementary school when the stay-at-home moms could be the drivers and work in the class and my work scheduled prevented that kind of participation. Now he knows that he can always count on me to be the one to do the shifts no one else wants, won't mind getting up earlier to throw more kids in the car. "Sorry mom, but I told them you would. I knew you wouldn't mind". What a comfort to know this is how my son sees me. These moments are priceless and I'm grateful that I'm learning to be fully present and joyful as I'm experiencing this with my son instead of waiting until the moments are memories recalled. As for the drudgery of day (those cleaning and organizing tasks) I always find that if I DON'T dwell on the drudgery it isn't as bad. I have an able body to complete the tasks, a house that is equipped with things to make the tasks easier and boys that appreciate what I do for them. I am a lucky woman. That said, I still hate cleaning the kitchen. Give me a dirty toilet any day, just don't make me clean the kitchen!

Today I express my gratitude for:
1. My building construction supervisor who noticed how early I come in to work and had my heat turned on an hour earlier so I wouldn't work in the cold
2. A boss that more often than not says "Just do it, I trust you".
3. The anticipation of a winter storm (hot chocolate and chili ingredients are well stocked)!

Golden Mirror Meditation

As I read yesterday's journal entry I couldn't help but notice today's title The Golden Mirror Meditation. I eagerly anticipated learning about this meditation as it had peaked my interest when mentioned in an earlier journal. I definately was expecting more than visualizing the dreams that I wish to materialize in a large golden mirror. I like the idea of visualizing the dreams, I just wouldn't do it in a 24-karat gold frame. I don't like gold. To me it would feel like someone else's dream.  Maybe I'm fixating on the image too much. Visualizing myself  radiant with a strong, vibrant aura is doable, so I'm going to leave out the golden mirror and instead look out my window. See that woman and her dreams as they will be lived instead of a looking glass that reminds me of snow white.

I liked what I saw today. I've been spending some time reading about "tiger moms" and realized that I may resemble one in many ways. But an interesting article I read today pointed out the difference between the "helicopter" mom and the "tiger" and advised that parents would do well to all their kids to encounter a few tough teachers in order to be prepared for realities of the competitive world in which they will eventually compete. Bennett has never been forced to practice piano to perfection (missing dinner) but I do believe that he will be better for having worked his way through challenges. I believe this as a teacher and as a parent. Someday my dreams will have moved beyond parenting Bennett into adulthood, but for now I am content with the image.

Expressing Gratitude today for:
1. Quick fix frozen foods that are still healthy
2. Warm slippers
3. Another new oatmeal recipe for early swim mornings

Daily Dialogue, Illustrated Discovery and Personal Treasure Map

So, not only did I not set aside an hour a day for meditation the last 2 days, I didn't even give 5 minutes to the blog! The days were filled with things that made me happy, so I'm grateful and continue to work on establishing time priorities. Swim was on the schedule for both days, after long work hours, but I went to sleep with a smile grateful that I have a son that is active and involved and that our family values the time supporting one another.

As for the daily dialogue that's recommended I do tend to treat the blog as the place to practice all things recommended. But I do check myself sometimes, knowing that I'm sharing not just with myself. So I will consider that there may be times I need to explore some things in more depth, in a more personal venue. But the illustrated discovery journal, that sounds like fun. Although, I still think that I will use the blog. In fact, reading about how images, colors and patterns speak to our souls reminded me of creating the blog itself. There are countless template layouts, colors and designs to combine and I put more thought into those choices than I did the first entry! The cool part was involving Bennett in the process. Especially because he recognized the colors and textures that had called to me as "being me". So to the blog I will begin adding an images (check bottom of blog) and/or quotes that express things that I truly love. The quote used in the journal was profound. "To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to keep your soul alive" ~Robert Louis Stevenson

As I was reading about the personal treasure map I started to get excited. And imaging the ideal house (mission style), where it was located (where do I find mountains and water?), car in the driveway (not picky, just no minivan and not white)....and then read the part where this is PERSONAL. That our truest treasures should remain private. For now I will consider my treasure map personal (beyond the few general basics I've shared) but encourage all of us to truly consider this. The point that hit home to me as I started thinking about the map is that it shouldn't be the "dream house" that is so big or so out of our price range or a show piece for others. As we think about Simple Abundance, what do we truly need? I don't need a huge house and would instead prefer smaller living space with a guest wing or guest cottage for family and friends to be able to relax and visit. That's my start, get working on yours.

Today I express gratitude for:

1. 4 inches of new snow turning my world into a winter wonderland
2. A swim coach that is invested in my son as a developing young man
3. The cup of tea my husband makes for me every morning

The Basic Tools

Some interesting tools are discussed: an illustrated discovery journal, daily writing dialogue, prayer, golden mirror meditation, silence. And the gift of an hour a day to journey with in. I'm picturing my friend with 3 kids (including twin baby girls!) going, "really, an hour? Where do I find it?". At this point I can't imagine finding an hour. My house isn't even set up for an hour of quiet. But experimenting and finding tools to help with the journey seems necessary. I'm not sure what the golden mirror meditation is so I'll be looking into that (I'm not saying I'm doing it, just that I'm looking into it ;) ). As I pondered the choices I kept going back to "playing with my treasure map collage". I can kind of get that you could make a collage of treasure maps, but how do you play with it? I can't imagine wanting to collect treasure maps, spending the time or finding the space to create a collage, and then, again, playing with it. Before getting too caught up in the wondering it occurred to me that I was missing the point. It isn't about needing an hour or the specific tools, its giving yourself "enough breathing space to allow your heart to ponder what is precious". As we are learning to live in our circumstances, our breathing space may be much shorter than hour. For this season. So while I may investigate golden mirror meditation I realize that I am already playing with one of my tools. This blog is a basic tool. I hope it is for you too.

Today I express my gratitude for:

1. My son allowing me to use his netbook as my laptop continues its downward spiral.
2. Celestial Seasons Bengal spice tea (try some, it's like a cup of heaven)
3. friendly swim moms (and dads)

Working With What You've Got

So, I've worked a bit past my trouble of yesterday (see my response to comment) and am ready to work with what I have. The working definition for me is "stop waiting for life to become perfect and start working with what we've got to make it as satisfying as we can". First I would have to acknowledge that my definition of perfect has evolved, so if I'm waiting for it to be perfect I'll be waiting forever! I found hope in the fact that Sarah believes that real life means we are only "one step away from dealing with dysfunction". Since I had worked with the assumption that I was daily mired in dysfunction, the idea of being removed by a whole step seemed something I could embrace.

Some sound advice followed. Don't wait to call a friend to do lunch or try something new. Do it now. I had the opportunity to meet childhood friends this past weekend for birthday drinks. It was a fleeting facebook comment "come join us". I should have done it. Yes I'd had a long week and was tired (and fell asleep on the couch before they probably even met), but I should have done it. Next time I will.

As I count my blessing today I am grateful for:

1. My new Skechers (very comfy and allow me to wear warm socks in my COLD room)
2. A last season of Oprah 
3. Friends who are dealing with the same parenting issues as me (and aren't afraid to share!)

Blessing Our Circumstances

This is a hard one today. We can't accept our circumstances if we don't learn to bless them. In theory it sounds so good. But there are always exceptions. I am reminded of 2 things.

• First, I recently attended a family baby dedication. Beautiful, meant a lot to the family. But as the minister repeatedly told the mom and congregation that we were surrendering the baby to God and reminded us that the baby was in God's hands, not ours, I couldn't help feeling angry. It is so easy to "amen" when your beautiful, healthy baby is being held in front of the congregation. Surrender indeed. An easy sentiment until that surrender becomes literal instead of figurative. Surrendering my sweet niece Phoebe 9 months ago did not feel like a circumstance that could be blessed. I'm trying to figure out how. Blessed for the beautiful month we had with her. Blessed to see the outpouring of love from family and friends. Yes. But the circumstance? This path may be rockier than I anticipated.
• Second, I watched Oprah introduce a half-sister she met at Thanksgiving. Didn't know she existed. Part of the program was showing how Oprah's mom still has difficulty acknowledging the situation. The guilt is overwhelming that she gave up her child. Oprah related this to her sister Pat telling the story of Oprah's birthing a child at 14 that didn't live. The betrayal was intense and caused a rift in the relationship. As Oprah was able to reflect she feels that her sister actually released her by forcing her to acknowledge the circumstance to the point where she no longer dealt with the guilt like her mom still does. She blessed the circumstance. BUT IT TOOK YEARS! I'm welcoming suggestions on how you BLESS the circumstance of the loss of a child.

Today I express gratitude for the following:

1. Co-workers who support my ridiculous enthusiastic attempts to get teens reading
2. Snowflakes so big and fluffy.
3. Sweet memories that must last a lifetime.

Accepting Real Life

The inability to be content in the reality of the present is a result of not accepting the current circumstances of life. I smiled today as I read the example of the "tiny kitchen with the dirty floor". How did she know? The ongoing home improvement process is slow and unsteady as my husband and I made the decision that we will do what we can afford with cash. I am often frustrated by the arrangement of my appliances, the missing trim as we wait to drywall.....yoga breathing helps! As I consider what I am grateful for today it is my house. Yes, it is small with no basement or garage and half-finished projects. But it is warm. Yesterday while running errands with my  husband I sat in the car waiting. The car had been shut off and I became COLD within a matter of minutes. I thought of the people who are homeless or who are struggling to pay for heat in these tough economic times. So I have a choice. I can focus on the shortcomings of my home, or I can  acknowledge that I am blessed to have a home in which I do not struggle to keep my family warm or worry that the bills will not be paid. And I suppose that if I am to acknowledge the reality of my house I have to embrace the other things mentioned in the journal (yes, even my jelly belly!)

Today I am grateful for:

1. My warm house in this bitter cold
2. Interesting discussions with my husband (our perspectives can be so different)
3. A body that allows me to pursue my passions (even with a little jelly!)

What are you grateful for?

So It Begins

Starting a daily blog on day 22 of the new year presents difficulties. From this point forward I intend to blog daily and the process will be more simple (no pun intended). A wise friend recently recommended that I write less, more often (good advice, Blake!). I'm late to the Simple Abundance path. Of course I know that Oprah had recommended this book years ago and actually began her gratitude journal as a result of the book (I have done a gratitude journal off and on through the years), but I thought I already was living simply. Perhaps more simply than intended! I maturing into realizing that the simplicity is abundance.

The lesson for January 9th is titled "What is it you truly need?" What a great focus for the new year. As a parent, one of the struggles in our American culture at this time is helping our kids figure out the difference between want and need. I WANT a smartphone (specifically a Droid). But I don't NEED one. My Net10 that I pay about $20 a month to have is working. Nothing wrong with having a smartphone, and I may even break down and get one some day. But it isn't a need.

So the lesson asks to be courageous and ask what is truly needed to make you happy. Two things come to mind without overthinking:

1. My son to know that he is loved. That with hard work and perseverance he can choose his life path. That I daily parent him to be a productive, contributing human being who follows his passion(s) and trods the path of Simple Abundance. (what he would say is that I require all A's and am a butinsky!)
2. That I daily contribute something of worth. It's why I choose to be a teacher, to volunteer, to go beyond what is required to do what is necessary.

So I sign off with what I'm grateful for so far this year. A husband who supports what I need to make me happy. The winter view while I'm writing (have I mentioned that I love snow?). A son who isn't afraid to hug his mom in front of the entire Varsity swim team! What are you grateful for today?