On Behalf of a Grateful Nation

 I am honored to be surrounded by veterans. My husband was a Marine, my brother retired from the Navy SeaBees, my uncle is a Vietnam veteran, grandpa served in the Philipines during World War II; so I grew up with a respect for flag and service. But I watch the struggle to acclimate to civilian life, to living in a family, after experiences of combat. I've been wrestling with what our nation, or any nation really, asks of the men and women who serve in military. What it takes to become a soldier, battle ready.

My nephew, Capt. Jonathan Wynkoop, was killed during military exercises on March 31st of this year. He is my sister-in-law and brother-in-law's only child. He leaves behind his wife and three beautiful children.

A moving part of a military funeral is the presentation of a flag to the solder's surviving family. Sitting next to my in-laws during Jonathan's funeral allowed me to experience this moment. So bittersweet. After the playing of Taps, the flag that has been draped over the casket is folded, with military precision, and then presented to the family. A soldier, kneeling in front of the widow, mother or next of kin, looks the family member in the eye and repeats these words...

"This flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation and the United States Army as a token of appreciation for your loved one's honorable and faithful service."

What will remain with me of this day, is the unwavering voice of the solider presenting the flag. In difficult circumstances, in the presence of pure grief, we once again ask our soldiers to conduct themselves beyond the emotion of the moment. To look a loved one in the eye and say "On Behalf of a Grateful Nation". God bless the soldiers that answer not only the call to protect our nation, but to serve in these moments of ceremony.

Love and Remembrance my sweet nephew.

We Become What We Believe

"In today’s meditation, we learn that our beliefs are always in motion, constantly influencing our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Our unconscious beliefs are always affecting us as well. To use the power of belief to our greatest benefit, we need to become self-aware. In doing so, we attune our beliefs to our deepest spiritual aspirations."

Meditation is not a practice that I do well. Even my stillness often comes in movement, which is why I try to find trail time most every day. So here I am again, learning through meditation and growing my practice. It is a form of self awareness, but not what I assume Deepak meant in the quote above. Just as beliefs are always in motion, so are my thoughts. How do we become self aware? Is part of the awareness an awakening to our "deepest spiritual aspirations" or should we already be aware of this aspirations and align our beliefs in order to manifest? Stilling my mind always means an explosion of questioning thoughts!

My deepest spiritual aspirations have evolved. At one time, the emphasis would have been an influence on the salvation of souls; but as my beliefs have separated from the faith of my childhood I find myself focusing on working on my own growth. Spiritually, I aspire to bring peace with my presence. If I am living in each moment, then spirit may use me. The shift in emphasis for me is instead of doing, or responsibility, it is a matter of being.

So my fellow Meditators, what is your spiritual aspiration? And how do you work to become self-aware?

Thankfulness and gratitude today for the great team I work with. We are afforded many opportunities to practice being in the moment!

What's In A Name?

"A name is important. It isn't something you drop in the litter basket or on the ground. Your name is how people know you. The very mention of your name makes a picture spring to mind, whether it's a picture of clashing fists or a mighty mountain that can't be knocked down. Your name is who you are and how you're known even when you do something great or something dumb."  ~Rita Williams-Garcia from One Crazy Summer

For the past five years, it has been my honor and privilege to participate in a memorial event for those who have suffered pregnancy and infant loss. I remember the first year was so bittersweet, having lost my niece Phoebe after only one month with us. My sister partnered with a woman that was planning the event and it has become a family commitment from the first. The memorial gives space to the grief and remembrance necessary as part of the healing process. While emotionally difficult, every year there is a special story or family that attends for the first time, getting the support they need, in just the right way and at just the right time. An important part of the event is remembering and honoring the babies by name. This has been my contribution, speaking the names of the infants and babies lost as we remember them through wish paper, the lighting of a candle or some other memorial ritual. The speaking of the babies names is important, I think, because it doesn't happen often. For many years, people handled loss by not speaking of loss or remembering the child. But for a grieving heart, someone holding space in remembrance, especially by speaking a name, turns an every day practice, speaking a name, into a sacred event.

This year, my son agreed to record the stories of any parents who wished to share in remembrance. There were two moms who talked with Bennett while being recorded. I share with you in the video below the story of Elsie. My heart is full in gratitude that I was given the privilege to be the first to speak her name.

As we enter this holiday season, be kind in remembrance of those who are grieving, especially the loss of a child. Whether a new reality or decades old, the holidays can bring a fresh depth to the pain. I am grateful today, for the lessons I have learned from my friends and my sister who have lost a child or children and manage to continue to figure out how to continue to contribute to the betterment of our world. May they be blessed as they have blessed me.