Almost a month into the new year, I'm finally feeling at peace with the direction I want to take with the blog. So here it goes! Working through the Simple Abundance journal last year forced me to work through specific ways to stretch and grow. This year, I feel the need to to see where this will take me. The most significant lesson to me was the need to live my life in the spirit of gratitude. Maybe this resonated because it was often the hardest lesson. Yes, even harder than being forced to shop for clothes or spend money on things for myself! With the loss of my sweet nephew Ronan, so quickly after the loss of my niece Phoebe, left me too often wanting to raise my voice to the Universe at the unfairness of it all. And sometimes I did. But.....gratitude does not imply that nothing is wrong. That we have no reason to be angry or frightened. Gratitude, to me, really became the life line of hope. If I could find nothing to be grateful for, I could not be used to complete the tasks or fulfill the purpose for which I was born. Gratitude does not take away the pain, the sorrow, the loss, the disappointment. It allows me to survive those things, to ride the wave and to truly process the effect.
I am different today. And it is a good different. I try to laugh more and judge less. I'm focusing on what has been accomplished in my house instead of how long it is taking to get it done. I marvel at my son's accomplishments instead of focusing on the times he has stumble or fallen short of my expectations. And in all of these things I often fall short. Feel free to remind me when I do! So my questions for today is: How do you define gratitude? That's what I'm reflecting upon today-creating a working definition of gratitude. Hoping your definition can inspire mine. Please share.
I had commented on this post earlier and apparently didn't actually publish it. And I'm sort of glad, because I've had an opportunity for gratitude this week that I wasn't expecting. I am grateful for the loving support of friends and family as we navigate this journey of grief. Because in having that loving support, we are apparently the exception. I am connected to some people, mostly via facebook (but a few personally), who have also lost babies, wheter from ACD or a myriad of other causes. And the family and friends who should be their to support them have shown viciousness and cruelty. Who are these people that don't even have it in them to be loving while watching a friend go through such a horrifying experience? Why is it more important for them to speak their piece than to silently disagree?
ReplyDeleteI am blessed that I don't know. My friends have understood when I said, I can't love on your babies right now. My family understands when I say, I might need to find some alone time during family gatherings.
I am also grateful for the reminder that no matter how difficult things are, there is someone else having a more difficult time than you. It's easy to say, I don't have it in me, or they should understand where I'm coming from. the truth is, I don't know what someone else is experiencing or what it takes fo rthem to get through the day. I know there can be danger in comparing yourself to others but it also can provide perspective and that is humbling to see.
So no matter my circumstances or daily struggle, I have so much to be grateful for.