The Secret
In a departure from the usual tone of my blog, I find that a crisis point has been reached that requires immediate attention. Yes, its is crunch time for my beloved University of Michigan Football team. There is no explanation necessary for fans. For those of you are are not fans, return to my blog another day.You see, I have the secret to a UofM win. That's right folks, a tried and true method that is guaranteed to have the Maize and Blue victorious. It is a long-held sacred tradition in my family. It began when...oh, who am I kidding. I made it up. Thank you to my friend, Mindy, for reminding me that I was not attending to my rituals. I apologize to the team for slacking off during the early part of the season. In my defense, I found that even sacred rituals couldn't help during the Rich Rod era. But as we are now in the glorious age of the return of the Michigan Man, I will slack no more.
Here is the secret, step-by-step, to ensuring a victory.
- Buy a bag of M&M's. It can be an individual bag or a two pound bag or anything in between. Your choice. Varieties acceptable are plain, peanut and almond. Mostly because I like my chocolate with nuts, but don't want to exclude the purists (this would be for my sister Kim, who is the UofM alum in the family). It is NOT acceptable to buy mint (too "green"), peanut butter or any other nontraditional combination.
- Pour the bag into a bowl. This is very important. Clear is better. You need to see every M&M.
- Commence eating in the following order:
- During the 1st quarter ALL red M&M's must be consumed. I am confident that this needs no explanation. Do not eat any other M&M's except the red ones.
- During the 2nd quarter ALL green M&M's must be consumed. See above for lack of additional explanation.
- During the 3rd quarter consume all remaining M&M's EXCEPT the blue and gold.
- 4th quarter you bring home the win by savoring the blue and gold.
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