Is It Broke or Does It Hurt?

I haven't blogged the last two days, but that doesn't mean I wasn't mulling over gratitude! Work responsibilities and mom duty had me busy but still thinking. Today's thought comes from my son's swim coach. Ken has been a guiding force in Bennett's life for five years and my gratitude for his time, attention and connection not just to swim but to my son as a person is difficult to express. Ken is known for his great words of wisdom that he shares with his swimmers. Today's them comes from an article about one of our club swimmers, who despite serious health issues inspires her team, family and coaches every day. Ken's question to her is "Is it broke or does it hurt"? You see, McKenna has brittle bone disease. And yes, sometimes when she swims she breaks a bone. So Ken needs to know how far to push, when to take a break. Is it broke or does it hurt.

I kept thinking about that phrase over the last two days. Coaching quips are often deeper than they first appear. The first thing that came to me is that we have to truly be in tune with ourselves in order to assess is something is broke or if it just hurts. In how many situations do we need to consider whether the appropriate course is to power through the hurt or if a new strategy is necessary. At what point is something broke? I think that this applies most to relationships. I can't think of any relationship that is meaningful that does not in some way, at some time, involve hurt. When you let people close, they have power. It may not be that they have used this power to do something that hurts us intentionally. Sometimes the connection itself is enough that hurt is shared. When someone you love hurts, it is difficult to not share the hurt.

What about when it's broke. You can't, or shouldn't, tough it out with a break. A break requires a new strategy; an intermission or intervention. Sometimes a break requires moving on. But there are other options. Read McKenna's story that I linked above. Breaks can be repaired. They can be casted (with waterproof casts to allow for swim), set, immobilized, taped. They can heal. What you do while the healing goes on, I believe, is how you demonstrate your character. Breaks hurt. Do they stop you? Change who you are? If you are changed, and many times we will be, is it a change for the better?

I learned a lot from McKenna's story. Mostly about accepting that life is going to hurt. And still smiling. And trying. And swimming. Even when it's broke.

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Today I am grateful for:

1. Trails through woods close enough to provide my nature fix on a regular basis.

2. Stories of special children and their families who are willing to share them.

3. A coach that inspires and knows that whether something is broke or it just hurts, quitting is not an option.