Self-confidence -- a first rate version of yourself!

It's been a long week. Monday would have been my niece Phoebe's 1st birthday. A marker in time. What to do with it? Still processing. Journaling was not where I was at. That sweet baby face, the joy of her birth and the mindfulness her presence created are an indelible part of my existence. I'm forced to reflect upon the lessons she taught, mostly what being fully present means. It was an important event in my simple abundance path.

Pushing forward and dealing with the issue of self-confidence. The difference between self-esteem and self-confidence was interesting. I see this in those that I love. How can a person with so in tune with who they are, strengths and weakness, abilities and challenges, suddenly become less than what they are in the face of uncomfortable circumstances. That is where confidence comes in. The great lesson to me, as a mother, is that building the self-esteem in your child gives them the tools to choose confidence (even if faking it for a while!). To me, self-confidence is related to the work and consideration we put into our appearance. The outer package is important and it isn't just what we put on. It's the way we carry ourselves and approach challenges. The key, I believe, to being self-confident is to be prepared. And believe in yourself enough to know that even for situations that challenge us or are unexpected, we will come through. If you are in tune with your authentic self, that self will always have the strength that you need.

My son is a great swimmer and student, but his confidence is sometimes swayed in circumstances of comparison. While this is an example of the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence, it is also a lesson in being a "first-rate version of yourself". Judy Garland phrases it like this: "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else". My son's coach is always telling him this. I don't want you to be the next Michael Phelps,....(or, lists other swimmers!) I want you to be the first Bennett. My students are often disconnected from this concept. My encouragement is that every assignment, every attitude, every choice is a reflection of who you are. If you aren't connecting to a class, assignment, circumstance because you don't believe it has any bearing on your future it still isn't ok to just disconnect! Why would you ever want what you are reflecting to the world to be less than your very best? Hmmm, that sounds like a lesson I should probably reflect upon today!