Look for the Helpers....

How often are we caught in the political maelstrom that has us believing that we are so divided in thought and belief that the country is not the place of dreams fulfilled? In an instant, we are reminded. Reminded of how blessed we are as Americans. In many places around the world, a bombing with three left dead and many wounded is just an evening news report. For us, it is a devastating event. One we can't understand and never expect. In that aspect, we are blessed.

I heard the report of the bombing at the Boston Marathon on the radio while driving home from work. Unbelievable.  Bennett and I spent a day in Boston during our trip out East last summer and fell in love with the city. While Bennett is a swimmer, running is part of his cross training. We stood on the circle that marks the Boston Marathon, with the winners names engraved around, in awe of the place and time. In Copley Square. While Bennett read names and countries of winners I was mesmerized by the Boston Public Library. What greets the visitor is the inscription "Free for All". As an educator this speaks to the core of who I am. What makes a great country, in my opinion, is the belief that all citizens deserve the chance to become what they desire and have the ability to achieve. Boston, as a founding city, made this commitment in community spaces and their libraries. It says a lot about the people.

The first images I saw on TV reminded me so much of 9/11, from the aspect of the actions of first responders. Is it an innate drive that leads a person to run toward harms away instead away from harm? Is training that good? A man goes down. Three responders surround him. Smoke blocking views from the street while fire and police personnel run TO the danger. Humbled. I could do this for those I love. These people do it because we ask them. 

How do we process tragedy? What do we tell our children? Fred Rogers, in The Mister Rogers Parenting Book, discusses this and gives the following advice:

      

So tonight, I remember with gratitude a city that builds community with public spaces and access to 

information for all. And for first responders everywhere. The police, fire, soldiers and guardsmen who run to harms way on the chance that they may save one of us. May we always find people who are helping. And recognize that as the reflection of humanity in place of those few who do harm.

Breathing Through

Today I'm grateful that I have started to develop a meditation practice. While it doesn't always mean I'm up 20 minutes early completing a guided meditation, it has helped me start my day with thoughtful intention. This is a stressful time with work deadlines and family schedules, so I'm grateful      
that the times I do react to the stress I'm able to pull it together sooner rather than later and have a great kid that communicates with me through the hard stuff.

As I lay on my bed composing my gratitude thoughts before going to sleep, I'm grateful that I allowed my son to follow his heart and bring home the crazy shelter rescue dog. Her sweetness is often the calm in the middle of a stormy day.

Just Grateful

Somewhere along the line I lost sight of the original intention of this blog, which is to journal my gratitude. Too often I'm finding myself contemplating the meditations, maybe over a couple of days, or too busy to carefully reflect and construct, so I don't post my thoughts. It occurred to me this morning, with prompting from Deepak's meditation, to complete a daily gratitude journal. So on those days that time or effort does not allow a thoughtful journal, I'm going to remember to post my gratitude for the day. 

Yesterday I came home from a whirlwind trip with my son and some of his friends. The college visits have begun! Where did the time to? My cherub cheeked smiling bundle of joy has become a tall, lanky young man planning his future. I am grateful that he has cultivated friendships with people that will support him, his goals and his beliefs. 

When we walked in the door I was surprised by a sparkling clean house! My wonderful husband knew that much of my stress was coming from lack of time to tackle the dust bunnies and major cleaning. Pick up and laundry we handle fine; deep cleaning tends to get put on the back burner. Floors were even scrubbed and sealed! I'm grateful not just for the clean house, but that my husband recognized the source of my stress and created a solution. 

In This Stillness

Today's meditation covered the importance of committing to writing intentions. Lucky I have a blog for that! The suggestion was to review the list before meditation with intention, which will then release the intentions. Lists I can do. Intention I have. The stillness of meditation I still need. 

I am not a still person. While I think that I have grown in my ability to reflect before speaking and acting, to respond to situations with more calm and control than I would have thought possible, apparently that is not what I present to the world. A friend and I were shopping and I was looking at paint colors for the living room. I want blue. A nice full bodies blue. Not white tinted blue. We were discussing the color, her taking my husband's position that blue is too cold to be in a living room. I find blue peaceful and calming. Her response was that I'm never calm! Huh. I feel calm most of the time. So what is the disconnect between my intention and my projection.

Stillness. How to be still. I came close a decade ago. My yoga practice had evolved to something beyond asanas and was meditative before I even really understood meditation. Until grief. I lost my beloved grandmother suddenly. There were other life crisis at the time but this was the impetus. For when I am still, there is no place for the depth of emotions to hide. Overwhelming. I move quickly because I like to move. I talk quickly because I am passionate about the things that I do. I work continuously because there is always something to do. It's why committing to this meditation is my Lenten practice. My sacrifice to make the connection with spirit.

So what am I afraid that I will find in that stillness? I'm about to find out. There is one week left in the meditation challenge. My intention is to use that time to practice stillness. As I practice, my intention is to project the strength and calm that I truly feel inside to those with whom I am present. My intention is to celebrate my strength while honoring that inside that needs stillness to connect. With these intentions my family, home and work will benefit from the best of me that is released. Apparently it's going to be the hard stuff this next week.

Today I am grateful for my dog. She asks so little of me, yet is always a calm, loving presence. Which doesn't mean that she doesn't get excited and crazy. I guess I really do just need to be more like my dog! 

Are you avoiding the stillness? The place that allows nothing to be hidden? Have you figured out why? What will you do this week to embrace the stillness?

A lesson from Phoebe

Today I celebrate the 3rd anniversary of the birth of my beautiful niece Phoebe Johnanna Bush. She was only with us on this earth for one short month, but her amazing life taught me more lessons than any other. The most important lesson was the need to be fully present with those that I love. Phoebe had the love, attention and devotion of her family for every one of her 30 days. Such a blessed existence in the midst of painful circumstances. Her struggle led to better treatment for her brother Ronan just one year later. And although Ronan also was not with us for long, the lessons learned from these beautiful babies that I was blessed to have time with would, just one year later, lead to the first successful lung transplant of an ACD baby. My sister Kim and brother Chris have inspired me not just during their journeys when the children were with us on earth, but as they continue to live their lives, daily struggling with an unforeseen reality and grief. I am humbled.

Reflecting Balance

So I've been cruising through this meditation challenge, reaffirming lessons that I've learned in my spiritual journey. To be sure, I needed reminders and a refocusing on these lessons, but I've felt comfortable with the review. I should have known it was too good to be true. Bam! Out of the blue. The lesson I still haven't learned. Today Deepak discussed how our environment is a reflection of our inner balance. Well that was not a comforting thought as I got out of bed in my dust bunny infested, half decorated, needs to be cleaned house! Apparently it's time to pull up my big girl panties and really tackle this issue.

It was the same stopping point for me when working thought The Simple Abundance Journal. As soon as I was supposed to think about decorating, and colors and spending money I started getting itchy. I found my balance, for today, by listening to my own advice that I give to my adult students. It isn't going to happen all at once! It's ok to move forward in implementation in steps. So I stuck out my right foot and began. I am pleased to say I had already contemplated some simple spring cleaning type things that needed to be done. The bathroom curtains I don't like are not going to have the cobwebs washed off of them, they're coming down, the shower curtain rod that had gotten rusty was replaced as was the ironing board cover that was covered in sticky quilt batting (don't ask. Just because I like to quilt doesn't mean I'm good at it). With my attitude aligned to focus on the positive I decided to create one small space that reflected how I feel instead of the chaos I often present. Over the weekend, anticipating the many parent meetings I will be holding in my office, I bought a small pot of daffodils to place on my conference table. I dug out a pretty little planter that want being used, plopped my new plant inside and took them with me to work. Wile my to-do list was long (and not accomplished) it was well worth the five minutes it took to clear my conference table and nearby countertop and place the pot of flowers in the middle of the table. It's not my environment, but it's a small start. Maybe this weekend  I will get to those dust bunny curtains!

5 Minutes makes a difference!

My last thoughts are maybe once again I'm focusing on the wrong thing. Maybe what my slightly disorganized, dust bunny filled, in need of decorating environment reflects is that my priorities are right. I choose to spend the time with my son, preparing for my students and enjoying my two hour walks with my dog on the weekend. The more balanced I become the less thought there will be about what my environment is reflecting.

Messy side of the office!

What is one aspect of your environment that reflects balance. What is one, small, five-minute change you can make today to bring harmony and balance to your environment?

Evaluating Habits

Today the meditation focused on restoring or creating healthy balance in your life so I've focused my thoughts on mh habits, examining the how and why they were created. Diet and exercise I've already blogged about as a natural remedy for health issues that I have dealt with for a decade now. But I wanted to dig deeper. The problem is, when I start to think about habits, I tend to go to those things that I probably need to tweak. "Bad" habits.  But as I like my blogposts on the short and sweet side, and I want to honor the positive, affirming conversations that I have been having with my body, I decided to think of a couple of good habits and let those be a guide for how to develop more rather than rehash what I am not doing well.

The best habit that I have is my routine. As Bennett has grown into his teen years my schedule has become more flexible. Starting with his freshman year, I have been the swim carpool mom for morning practice. Actually, that started with summer swim in middle school but at least in summer I don't have to teach all day after carpool! He needed to be at the pool an hour before I normally left for work. What to do? Well, sleeping through the morning routine wasn't an option. So I decided to start my day early after dropping a car full of boys at the school. A half hour drive had me arriving before 6 a.m. Those first couple of mornings were grueling! But I quickly realized something. This was actually closer to my natural body clock. I am a morning person. A HAPPY morning person. The kind of person whose college roommates wouldn't let speak until after they returned from their 9a.m. classes. The kind of morning person who has a boss threaten to fire them if coffee ever becomes a part of the routine (yup, that morning happiness is not caffeine injected, it's all me!). So I began my day as one of the first in the building. And quickly realized I was more productive form 6-7:30 a.m. than I was for the rest of the day. I think more clearly, I have less distractions.

 As morning practices came to an end, I took a day or two to return to my former routine. I worked more in the evening, my desk was never cleared. I decided to compromise. There was no reason to be the first person arriving at building. Frankly, that's not a safe choice. But I could be one of the first. This third year I've realized that this schedule has become routine. If I'm not an hour early for work I feel like I'm late. More importantly, I've stopped apologizing for the fact that I'm useless after 9:30 p.m. Because you should see what I accomplish before 9 a.m.!

What is your habit that has developed to further your quest for a more simple, balanced, reflective life?